I'm Engaged!

From Matthew?s Perspective:

The week of December 28th, 2009 was very busy for me with two new web site projects going as well as the normal holiday chaos. In addition, there was something else I had been praying about?..I had been courting Mariya Negrov for six months and felt the Lord was leading us towards marriage. I was considering New Year?s Eve as a good time to propose.

Wednesday, December 30th, I got up early and began working on layout for sub pages of a county web site I had been working on. My deadline to complete 10 pages was December 31st, and I had to go in to their office in Vancouver to submit the pages. I didn?t want to wait until the 31st as the Watch Night service was that day and Cheryl (the lady I was working with) would not be in her office. I was also thinking it might be a good time to go in to Portland to ask Mariya?s dad?s permission to ask her hand in marriage, since I would be part way there anyway.

As I was working in the morning, I was running into web coding issues that were very frustrating because of my deadline and needing to get to Cheryl?s office by early afternoon. In addition, Jeremiah and my dad were working and kept interrupting and asking me different questions. I also took time out to talk to Christina as she is an expert about rings after her recent wedding. I asked her if she wanted to go ring shopping that night, and she said, ?sure.? I think she was surprised, as it came up all of a sudden, and I was like, ?I?m shopping for a ring today.? I finally finished the sub page layout, made myself a couple sandwiches to eat on the way, arranged with Christina to meet her later in the day, and headed out the door.

At Cheryl?s office I had various complications as we changed plans about how we were doing the web site, but overall I got quite a bit done. While I was working, Christina chatted with me and asked if she should drive to meet me or ride with Mom and Dad as they were going out to dinner. (I didn?t know at the time, but they were meeting with a certain young man who wanted to talk to them about courting Suzanne). I said she should ride with Mom and Dad, and we arranged to meet at Fred Meyer at 5:00 p.m. or a little after.

From Mariya?s Perspective

Wednesday started out as a normal workday for me. I had found out Matthew?s schedule the night before when we had talked on the phone and I was hoping he could come by my work after he was done at Cheryl?s office since he was in town anyway. I wanted him to see my work because he had never been there before. I texted Matthew and asked him when he would get off work and if he would be able to come by my work on the way home. Matthew replied saying he wasn't going to be done for another couple hours and he didn't think he'd be able to make it out of there in time to meet me at my work. I was very disappointed but understood he needed to get his work done.

From Matthew?s Perspective:

I finished my work around 4:40, but Cheryl had some corrections and questions for me. While I was talking to her, my cell phone kept vibrating which was really annoying. I think Mom was calling me to tell me they dropped Christina off. I finally got out of Chery?s office a little after 5 and headed across town to pick up Christina.

After picking up Christina, we headed to Mariya?s dad?s bookstore so I could talk with him. I was a little bit nervous and I hoped that he didn?t go home from work early. Christina asked if I would be more nervous to talk to her dad or to her when I actually proposed, and I told her I thought I was going to be more nervous to talk to her dad. Along the way, I was like, ?What if Mariya is there?? Then I realized I could look for her car. I didn?t know the exact way to his work, but had looked at a map and was hoping I would find it. I drove right to it, and parked and Christina was like, ?have fun.? I saw a car parked out in front, so I knew someone was there. I walked up in front kind of cautiously, trying to see who was inside. Mariya?s dad and grandma were there, and no one else. Perfect. (Later I found out that they had not been at work all day, but had just gotten there minutes before me.)

I went in and I think they were surprised to see me. I said ?hello?, shook both of their hands, and got straight to the point. I told her dad that ?I came to ask if I could have your blessing to ask Mariya to marry me.? He sat there behind the counter with a smile on his face for a few seconds, and then said, ?God bless you.? He came out from behind the counter and gave me a hug and said it was a surprise for him and that it was good news for him and would be for his wife, too. His mom (her grandma) was sitting there not knowing what was happening, so he told her in Russian. She started smiling and saying, ?God bless you? in English. About this time, a customer came in so I sat down with her grandma while her dad helped the customer. Finally the customer was done and left. I wanted to surprise Mariya as that hadn?t worked out so well with the beginning of our courtship (like her whole family knew before her), so I told her dad that I was hoping to surprise her either that night or the next night at church (Watch Night service). I told him I was going to go ring shopping now, and maybe call Mariya and see if I could stop by on the way home. He said, ?You can stop by, she?s home?..I give you permission to stop by, you don?t need to ask.? Before I left, he prayed with me, which I appreciated.

After that, Christina and I headed to Lloyd Center to shop for the perfect ring. About an hour and a half later, with Christina?s help, I had the ring in my fleece pocket and we headed North. I had realized I wanted to propose tonight, so Christina had called our parents and arranged for me to drop her off with them again. I had also called Mariya and gotten permission to stop by on the way home ? I told her I hadn?t been home yet as I had some ?shopping? to do in Portland. I had been thinking about what would be the perfect way to ask, and Christina and the lady at the jewelry shop both had asked me about it. One place that held special memories for us was Abrams Park in Ridgefield, where we had talked for the first time about possibly starting a relationship. While I drove north, things began to sink in, and it almost seemed unreal!

From Mariya's Perspective:

Since Matthew couldn't visit my work that afternoon, I was anxious to see him that night for Wednesday church service. Unfortunately I had forgotten that there wasn't any service that night because of the Watch Night service coming up on Thursday. At that point I realized I wasn't going to see him at all that night, which was another disappointment. At 8 o'clock I was surprised when I got a phone call from Matthew. He said he had been "shopping" in Portland which I thought that was a bit weird. He hadn't been home all day and asked if it would be all right to stop by. We talked for a little bit and then said goodbye. I told my parents he was coming around 9 and then noticed my dad was acting a bit weird asking me to get the camera ready and cleaning up the house. I didn't think much of it and just went on about my business.

Finally, around 9 o'clock, Matthew walked in our door. Of course we offered him some food. Russian stuffed green bell peppers were on the menu that night, which my mom had made with beef and rice filling. After we talked for a little bit and Matthew was done with his dinner, he casually asked if I wanted to go for a drive. I thought it was a little strange that he wanted to go on a drive all of a sudden, but I thought he might want to talk about something privately, so I said "sure." We headed out and he opened the car door for me as usual (very sweet, I love you baby - in case you're wondering, no, I did not call him that before we were engaged).

Matthew started heading toward I-5, so I began wondering where we were going. I couldn't figure it out. In the past, he had said he was just driving me around and I told him he could drive me around anytime. So I assumed he was doing just that. We talked about lots of different things, including some interesting secret agent work that he had to do the next day for a certain young man. Then we practiced some songs for the watch night service (which was weird because we never do that in the car)...

From Matthew's Perspective:

When I arrived at Mariya?s, I hid the cardboard box for the ring along with all the paperwork in the glove box. The ring was securely zipped in my pocket. When I walked in, her parents and grandma were there and they sat me down to eat dinner. Russian stuffed green peppers are good! Mariya?s dad was having trouble with his web browser changing it?s home page back to Google every time he restarted it, so we solved that problem while I ate dinner. I ate some of her mom?s sweet bread and then casually asked Mariya if she wanted to go for a drive. She said, ?sure.?

As we drove we talked about various things, practiced songs for the watch night service, etc. I took the old road to Ridgefield and missed one of my turns. I tried to keep talking about stuff so Mariya wouldn?t have time to think about and figure out what I was doing.

It had snowed the day before and there was a couple inches of snow on the ground at the park. We drove in and the parking lot looked perfect for making donuts. However, I decided that might be fun to do after I asked her to marry me. As we drove in, I reminded her of the first time we talked here, and I parked in the same place where we had parked that day. My plan was to walk in the snow over to the picnic table we had sat at six months ago. Luckily Mariya had worn some good running shoes from REI.

From Mariya's Perspective:

As we got closer to Ridgefield, I was like....."I wonder if there's something going on at church or something." But then when we passed the turn for the church, I realized we were going to our special place, Abram's Park. Our first talk about possibly pursuing a relationship was at that same park. As we were driving in, there was still lots of snow on the ground and it was absolutely beautiful. He asked me if I remembered the first time we were there, and I said, "yes." I remembered that we were both very nervous and the whole day before we met it was hard to stay focused on work. It was very exciting to find out that Matthew was interested and that we could possibly be starting a relationship headed towards marriage. We talked about our families, interests, hobbies, our testimonies, our views on courtship, and other important things. We walked all over town talking and ended up on a bench back at the park, not knowing that it was infested with mosquitoes. It was sweet of Matthew to notice that I was having trouble with mosquitoes and to suggest we move to a different bench that wasn't near water. By the end of the day we both became more relaxed and prayed together and decided to take another day to think/pray about the things we had talked about before coming to a decision. I couldn't believe that was just six months ago.

He parked in the same spot where we did that first day, and asked "what kind of shoes are you wearing?" but I heard, "what kind of shoes were you wearing?" I started to describe the shoes I was wearing that first time and then we were both confused. He was asking me because there was snow on the ground, and he wanted to get out and walk in the snow. We got out (of course I look like an Eskimo every time we go outside, but Matthew was just wearing a fleece). We walked over to a picnic table that we sat at the first time, and Matthew felt the bench and it was wet so we didn't sit down.

From Matthew's Perspective:

As we walked over to the picnic table, I told her how much I had enjoyed getting to know her better over the last six months. I felt the bench and realized it was all wet. I was a little bit nervous, but not too much. I had a light fleece on and Mariya was worried I would get cold. I told her I had put my fleece on and it was a little cold, but not bad. She was bundled up in her ski coat and gloves. It was a beautiful evening, about 10 p.m. There was low clouds / fog and the moon was trying to peek through. There were a few light poles around lighting up the snowy scene.

I had thought ahead about what I would say, and had tried to organize it in my head so I wouldn?t forget. I told her how I admired how kind she was, always wanting to help everyone ? her family, grandparents, my family, and me. I also talked about how she was so submissive to her parents, wanting their input in her life. I also told her I admired how good she was with children ? her nieces and nephews and mine. In addition, I talked about how I admired how she was involved in so many ministries ? AWANA, Portland Rescue Mission, handing out tracts at various events, and singing specials in church. She was just looking at me with a smile on her face. It was a little bit hard to remember what I wanted to say. I then said, ?Honey, I love you.? She looked a little surprised, but didn?t say anything, so I continued. ?Honey,? I paused, ?will you marry me??

She smiled and didn?t answer for a few seconds. Then she said, ?of course!? And then she told me that she loved me, too. How exciting!!! <3

I smiled and unzipped the pocket that held the ring. ?I have something for you.? She said, ?really?!?!? I took out the ring box and opened it. I said, ?Can I put it on?? She said, ?yes?..which hand?? as she tried to remember which glove to take off. I was like, ?yeah, I was thinking you would have to tell me which finger?.is this the right one?? We finally figured out which hand and which finger but my hands weren?t working the greatest either. I got the ring on without dropping it in the snow, thankfully. She said, ?It?s beautiful!!!?

We stood there for a long time, taking in the moment. It was so nice to be able to say ?I love you? to the love of my life!

From Mariya's Perspective:

After walking over to the picnic table, we looked into each other's eyes and then he started telling me the things he admired about me. That was really nice to hear. It was also very sweet of him to say that to me. And then he told me that he loved me - after that I figured out where he was headed because that was the first time he'd ever told me that. I couldn't believe it - I didn't know what was happening. And then he said, "Honey, will you marry me?" I pretty much was in shock. And then I said, "of course." Then he told me that he had something for me, and I couldn't believe it.... I was sooooo excited! He got a little box out of his pocket, and because the whole thing was so unreal, I almost forgot which hand the ring had to go on. After that, I told him that I loved him, too. It was so good to finally be able to say that to him. The ring was absolutely beautiful and I was completely surprised by the whole proposal. It was perfect, because I had always imagined I would be surprised by a ring.

After we were engaged, we got in the Jeep and Matthew took us for a spin in the snow. We ended up making some donuts. It was a fun ride! We're getting married!!! <3